Saturday, June 12, 2010

SMACKDOWN REPORT 6/11

We start off this week’s show with a look back at Kane’s promo last week when he eulogized the demise of his brother, The Undertaker, as well as his comments to the people he accused of the attack. We see highlights from the battle royal which came down to Rey Mysterio and Kane with Rey pulling out the victory.
We are live on tape from Tampa, Florida and your announcers are Todd ‘Did Something Happen on Monday Night’ Grisham and Matt ‘Now I know what a piñata feels like’ Striker.
Before our first match starts, Rey Mysterio addresses the people of Tampa and the rest of the WWE Universe. He steals Skip Sheffield’s catchphrase and asks what it do. He says that he was given a second chance to do what he does best . . . the impossible. He reminds us that he won the battle royal for the spot that was vacant because of what happened to the Undertaker. Rey says that when he wins, it will not be his World Title, it will be ‘OUR’ World Title. Rey speaks in Spanish but he is cut off by Jack Swagger’s music.
Jack walks to the ring and he says that it is ‘MY’ World Title. Jack tells Rey that he didn’t earn anything and he never has. He only capitalized on the misfortune of others. He capitalized on the misfortune of the Undertaker. While Rey was in Tijuana drinking cervezas, Jack says that he was in Oklahoma winning. He ran drills for thousands of hours because he knew that one day he was going to be destined for the World Title.
Rey tells Jack that he thinks that all of the higher education went to waste because what Jack just said was stupid. Rey says that he though Jack was going to say ‘I tawt I thaw a putty cat’. Rey says that he is proud of his heritage and proud to represent the 619. Rey asks Jack what it will take for him to win the title, and Jack suggests a miracle. Rey tells Jack that he is wrong and it will only take one SIX ONE NINE.
CM Punk’s music plays and he comes onto the stage with Luke and Serena. Punk says that after Malcolm X and JFK, it was only a matter of time before it happened to him. He was the victim of an assassination attempt. Him and the SES were targets for unknown reasons. They were savagely beaten by thirty six unarmed assailants. Anyone else subjected to that attack would not be here tonight, let alone walking. He says that while Swagger and Rey are normal people, Punk says that he is extraordinary. He reminds us that he is the only three time Straight Edge Champion in WWE History. The only thing better is to be a four time champion. At Fatal Four Way, he tells Rey and Swagger that he will be a four time Straight Edge World Champion. Punk says that the entire universe of normal people will finally have a champion they can look up to and believe in.
Rey tells Punk that his ears want to crawl out of his head because the entire WWE Universe are tired of Punk running his mouth. Rey tells Punk that he already beat him and shaved his head. He tells Punk to show some dignity and represent his Straight Edge Society by pulling off his silly mask. He tells Punk to show the world what he looks like bald. Punk says that it is the ‘pot calling the kettle black’ because he isn’t bald. He says that Rey is bald and Big Show is bald.
That is a coincidence because Big Show’s music plays and he comes to the ring. Show tells everyone to relax. He has a little business to take care of first. He says that he is going to walk into Fatal Four Way, beat up everyone, and win the title. Show says that he respects Rey and how he represents the 619. Show comments on the size of his rear end and says that he would need two or three area codes. Show tells Swagger that he has his issues. Show wants to know why Punk is wearing a mask. Show says that he pulls off bald pretty well. He says that Rey probably pulls it off well, but he wears the mask because of his heritage. Show tells Punk that he will do Punk a favor by pulling off Punk’s mask.
Punk tells Show that he won’t be pulling anything off. He will not pull off a victory at Fatal Four Way and he won’t pull off a win tonight.
The building turns red and then Kane appears on the TitanTron. Kane says that looking at the people in the ring, he wonders who is responsible for his brother’s demise. He says that if they think they will compete for Taker’s Holy Grail without fear of reprisal, they are wrong. He says that when he finds out who is responsible, the guilty party will end up in a coffin. We see Kane look at the coffin. He says that maybe it wasn’t just one person. It could have been two of them in a diabolical plot. Maybe it was all four because no one person can do that to his brother. Kane vows that there will be vengeance. Kane slams the coffin shut and then he breathes heavily as we go to commercial.
Match Number One: Rey Mysterio versus Jack Swagger in a Non Title Match
They lock up and Swagger with a front face lock and he rolls Rey around the ring until Rey gets to the apron. Rey goes to the floor and then he returns to the ring after a brief respite. Swagger with a delayed belly-to-belly suplex and he puts Rey in a waist lock. Rey with an arm drag to escape the hold and then Rey with a drop toe hold that sends Swagger into the turnbuckles. Rey ducks as Swagger charges at him and Swagger goes over the top rope to the floor. Swagger with a kick and forearm to the back. Swagger then slams Rey’s head into the turnbuckles. Swagger kicks Rey in the corner and the referee warns the champion. Rey with a kick and a bulldog out of a wheelbarrow and Rey gets a near fall. Rey goes to the apron and hits a head scissors that sends Swagger into the ropes. Rey hits a 619 and then he hits a springboard dive but Swagger gets his foot on the rope to stop the count. We go to commercial with Swagger rolling to the floor.
We are back and Swagger throws Rey under the bottom rope to the floor. We see footage from the commercial break when Rey hit a seated splash onto Swagger from the apron. We go back to live action and Swagger sends Rey into the apron as the battle continues on the floor. Swagger hits Rey from behind and he goes into the ringside barrier. They return to the ring and Swagger chokes Rey until the referee warns him one more time. Swagger with a hard Irish whip. Swagger with a reverse chin lock and then he puts Rey in a body scissors and rubs Rey’s face into the mat. Rey with a few kicks to Swagger followed by a forearm. Rey dives through Swagger’s legs but Swagger with a clothesline for a near fall. Swagger punches Rey and then puts him on the top turnbuckle. Swagger sets for a superplex but Rey pushes him off. Swagger climbs the turnbuckles and hits a belly-to-belly suplex. We go to commercial after Swagger gets a near fall.
We are back and Swagger uses the ring post to add extra pressure on a bow and arrow. Swagger sends Rey back into the ring and gets a near fall. Swagger returns to the body scissors to work on Rey’s midsection. Rey gets out of the hold by hitting Swagger in the leg but Swagger pushes Rey into the turnbuckles. Swagger charges into boots from Rey and then he misses a charge into the corner. Rey tries for a moonsault but Swagger trips Rey and Rey is in the Tree of Woe. Swagger tries for a charge into the corner but Rey moves and Swagger hits the ring post with his shoulder. Rey goes up top and hits the seated splash. Rey runs into a big boot from Swagger and gets a near fall. Swagger with a forearm to the back and then he picks up Rey but Rey escapes a gutwrench suplex. Rey sends Swagger into the ropes and hits a 619 into the midsection. Rey with a springboard drop kick that sends Swagger into the ropes for another 619. Rey hits a springboard leg drop and gets the three count.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
After the match, Swagger attacks Rey. During the attack, Kane’s pyro goes off and Swagger continues the attack as Kane comes to the ring. Kane with a choke slam to Swagger. Kane looks at Swagger and then he turns his attention to Rey. Rey gets a choke slam for his troubles.
We see Kane survey the damage as he heads to the back.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Did You Know that WWE Mobile can reach 1.2 billion people.
Michelle McCool and Layla come to the ring with Kaval and the ladies have something to say before Layla’s match. Layla and Michelle insult the Tampa crowd. Michelle stops the insults when she mentions that Michelle’s parents are in the crowd. Layla and Michelle say that everyone needs help and they suggest a Famous Flawless Make Over.
Match Number Two: Layla with Michelle McCool and Kaval versus Tiffany with Kelly Kelly
Layla with a slap but Tiffany with forearms. Tiffany tries to float over in the corner but Tiffany is sent to the apron. Tiffany with forearms but Layla kicks Tiffany off the turnbuckles and gets a near fall. Layla with a head scissors and he adds extra pressure. Layla grabs the ropes and the referee calls for a break. Tiffany with a slap and reverse atomic drop followed by a clothesline. Tiffany with an Irish whip and punches but Layla pushes Tiffany off and she hits the top rope. Tiffany with an inside cradle and gets a near fall. Michelle gets on the apron and Tiffany knocks her off, but Tiffany turns into a neck breaker from Layla and she gets the three count.
Winner: Layla
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time to take a look back at what happened at the end of Raw. Before we see the footage, Matt talks about how he does not understand why they attacked innocent people at ringside. He wants to know why they did it.
We go to commercial.
We are back and before our next match, we see footage from last week when Christian lost to Dolph Ziggler and Chavo Guerrero in a handicap match.
Vickie Guerrero comes out and throws a few Excuse Mes to the Tampa crowd. She says that it is her pleasure to introduce the future of the WWE. A man who is so mesmerizing in many many ways. She brings out Dolph Ziggler. Vickie sits at ringside to watch the match.
Match Number Three: Christian versus Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler goes to the floor as the bell rings and he ambushes Christian when he reutnrs to the ring. Christian with a slap and then he catapults Dolph over the top rope and then he hits a pescado onto Ziggler. Christian goes up top but Ziggler pushes Christian off the turnbuckles and he hits the floor hard. We go to commercial.
We are back and Ziggler chokes Christian in the ropes. Ziggler leaps to the floor and he drops Christian on the top rope. Ziggler returns to the ring and gets a near fall. Ziggler with punches to Christian and he gets a near fall. Ziggler with the leap frog neck snap and then he goes to the turnbuckles but he connects with Christian’s boot. Christian with open hand shots and then he hits a missile drop kick for a near fall. Christian gets ready to stand on Ziggler’s back while Dolph is draped on the middle rope but Ziggler is able to recover and kicks Christian. Christian with another punch and he goes up top for a cross body but Ziggler rolls through and gets a near fall. Ziggler with a leg lariat and he gets a near fall. Christian with an uppercut but Ziggler misses a charge into the corner and Christian with a pendulum kick. Christian with a back elbow from the turnbuckles but he cannot hit the Killswitch. Ziggler with a sleeper but Christian is able to get out of it by running Ziggler into the turnbuckles. Christian hits the sunset flip from the turnbuckles and gets the three count.
Winner: Christian
After the match, Curt Hawkins and Vance Archer attack Christian. Archer hits the inverted DDT followed by an elbow drop from the top turnbuckles onto Christian. Ziggler stands over Christian and he puts Christian in a sleeper.
Vickie applauds Dolph’s effort and she raises his hand. Then they hug in the center of the ring.
We go to the back where Kane puts some black roses on the casket. He says that he will never allow the fire to extinguish. All his life, he has felt him in his soul. He was guiding him in the stairway to success. Now you are gone and his soul is empty. His soul is tortured but so will be the culprits. Those men are damned by every fiber of his monstrous being. They are damned to vengeance. They are damned to hell.
We go to commercial.
Drew McIntyre comes to the ring and he is not dressed to wrestle. Drew tells Teddy Long to get out right now. Drew takes off his jacket in anger and he tells Teddy not to make him repeat himself. Drew still repeats himself and tells Teddy to come out.
Teddy Long obliges the demands and comes to the ring. Teddy starts to talk but Drew tells Teddy that he will speak when he tells him to speak. Drew tells Teddy that he is just going to watch. He tells Teddy to watch the TitanTron. We see footage from last week when Matt Hardy trespassed into the ring and attacked Drew McIntyre.
Drew says that losing the Intercontinental Title wasn’t enough, Drew brings up what happened on Monday night. We see the suspended Matt Hardy returning on Raw to beat Drew McIntyre.
Teddy tries to explain himself and Drew stops him since Drew didn’t say he could. Drew says that he is only choice for the viewers because he is the Chosen One. Drew says that Teddy’s problem is that he does not understand. Drew says that he will have to do Teddy’s job. Per Vincent Kennedy McMahon, Matt Hardy is suspended from not only Smackdown, he is suspended from Raw and all other WWE programming. Teddy tries to talk and Drew takes the mic and throws it away. Drew says that he told Teddy that if he turned a blind eye to his misfortunes one more time, there would be a severe price to pay. Drew says that it is about that time. Drew says that he wants Teddy to see his face as he breaks the news to Teddy.
Kofi interrupts and he says that he is sick and tired of listening to Drew coming out every week to cry, complain, and throw tantrums when Drew doesn’t get his way. He says that everyone is tired of it. Drew tells Kofi not to pander to the fans but Kofi continues by suggesting that even the popcorn and cotton candy vendors are sick of Drew. Kofi says that on behalf of the WWE Universe, he is asking, no he is telling Drew to shut up. Kofi tells Drew that they are exact opposites. Kofi says that when he falls down, he picks himself up like a man. When he wants something like the Intercontinental Title, he earns it, like a man. When he doesn’t like someone, he does something. Kofi punches Drew and then they battle in the ring. Drew is knocked to the floor and then Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise as Drew returns to the ring.
Big Show walks in the back as we go to commercial.
We are back and did you know that WWE broadcasts in more than 30 languages and can be seen in half a billion households.
Teddy Long is in his office and he is on the phone trying to get in touch with Vince McMahon. Drew takes Teddy’s phone and throws it down. Drew says that he tried to warn Teddy but now Teddy has no recourse and has to listen to what he has to say. Drew says that next week, he has a match. Teddy wonders who the match is against. Drew tells Teddy that the match is Drew McIntyre versus Teddy Long. That was per Vince McMahon. If Teddy doesn’t show up, he is fired.
Match Number Four: Big Show versus CM Punk with Luke Gallows and Serena
Punk still shows the effects of what happened on Monday night before the bell. Punk kicks wildly at Show and then Punk with punches but Show pushes Punk to the mat. Punk with kicks to the leg and he backs into the ropes after doing a few laps around Show. Punk with more kicks to the leg and a back kick to the midsection and a kick to the head. Punk goes up top and Show dares Punk to come off and Show wants to punch Punk. Punk thinks of another option and he goes to the floor to talk to Serena and Luke as we go to commercial.
We are back and Show pulls Punk to the apron and then he hangs Punk over the top rope and chops Punk back into the ring. Show with a punch to the midsection and then he squashes Punk into the turnbuckles. Show with another chop to Punk and Punk staggers around the ring. Show with a punch to the midsection one more time. The crowd wants Show to take the mask off and Punk covers up. Show with a chop to the back and Punk writhes in pain. Show signals for the choke slam and he grabs Punk by the throat but he decides to use the other hand to take off the mask. Luke Gallows and the Mysterious Masked Man attack Show to save Punk and the referee calls for the bell.
Winner: Big Show by disqualification
After the match, they take Show to his knees and Luke and the other man hold Show while Punk connects with a round kick. Serena joins in with a kick to the midsection as the assault continues.
Kane’s pyro goes off and the music starts. Everyone stands in the ring as they wait for Kane to make his way to the ring. Luke is the first to go after Kane and he gets punched. Punk retreats to the floor after Kane grabs the mystery man and gives him a choke slam. Luke gets a choke slam while Punk and Serena head to the back. Kane sees Show getting up and it is time for Kane to try to choke slam Big Show and he does it.
We go to credits.

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