Saturday, August 6, 2011

SMACKDOWN REPORT 8/5

This week’s Smackdown starts off with a video package showing Mark Henry’s most recent Path of Destruction. Then we go to a video package for the man who is willing to stand face to face in the ring with the monster, Sheamus. What will happen tonight?

We are live on tape from Lexington, Kentucky and your announcers are Michael ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have worn a Christian Laettner jersey’ Cole, Josh ‘The Jim Ross of Smackdown’ Mathews, and Booker ‘The Sam Bowie of announcers’ T.

We are told by Michael Cole that the match between Sheamus and Mark Henry has been signed for SummerSlam.

Match Number One: Sheamus versus Great Khali with Jinder Mahal 

Sheamus backs up from Khali as the bell rings but they lock up and Sheamus is sent to the mat by Khali and Khali raises his arms. Sheamus with a forearm to the back followed by punches but he runs into a chop from Khali. Khali reaches through the ropes and Sheamus gets Khali tied up in the ropes and Sheamus with a series of forearms across the chest. Sheamus goes to the apron and he hits a knee lift on the apron. Sheamus goes up top but Khali knocks Sheamus to the floor.

Khali picks Sheamus back to the apron from the floor and then he biels Sheamus back into the ring. Khali with kicks to Sheamus and then he hits a clothesline. Khali with a nerve hold on Sheamus followed by a head butt. Khali kicks Sheamus in the corner and he chokes Sheamus with his boot. Khali with chops in the corner. Sheamus with a running double sledge but Khali shakes it off. Khali with a back elbow to Sheamus. Sheamus kicks Khali in the leg and then he hits a running knee lift.

Sheamus tries for the Brogue kick and Khali with a chop instead and Khali can only get a two count. Khali with the Khali Krush and Sheamus falls to his knees. Sheamus appears to be losing consciousness but then he gets a second wind and he returns to his feet. Sheamus powers out of the hold and he connects with elbows. Sheamus hits a Brogue kick when Khali goes down to his knees and Sheamus gets the three count.

Winner: Sheamus 

We go to commercial.

We are back with the WWE Rewind: Beth Phoenix becoming the Number One Contender for the Divas Title and her attack on ‘Ms. Hugs A Lot’ Kelly Kelly.

Match Number Two: AJ Lee versus Natalya 

AJ and Natalya shake hands when the bell rings and AJ with a waist lock but Natalya with a standing switch. AJ with a hammer lock but Natalya with an arm drag take down. AJ with a head scissors and Natalya escapes. AJ tries for a snap mare but Natalya refuses to go down and she pushes AJ off. AJ with a side head lock and she takes Natalya down with help from the turnbuckles. AJ with a wheelbarrow into an arm drag for a near fall. Natalya takes AJ down and she hits a spinning knee drop. AJ tries for a crucifix and she turns it into a sunset flip for a near fall. Natalya puts AJ in the Sharpshooter and AJ quickly taps out.

Winner: Natalya

After the match, Natalya celebrates her victory and then she has a little more enthusiasm in her celebration. Natalya checks on AJ and then she slams AJ’s head into the mat and she sends AJ to the floor. Natalya runs AJ’s back into the apron and then she hits a snap suplex on the floor.

Natalya takes the mic and she tells Beth Phoenix that she is ‘with you sister’. The days of the cute perky little princesses are over.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Matt Striker is with Randy Orton in the interview area. Matt asks Randy about his actions after his match with R Truth last week. Orton says that Christian may be right that he has some anger management issues. However their match at SummerSlam is No Holds Barred. Christian will be there to help him get through those anger issues. Christian is the only person to win the World Title by disqualification. He will have to beat Orton by pinfall or submission at SummerSlam and that is something that Christian has never done and will never do.

We see another Justin Gabriel in South Africa video package showing all of the media coverage. He says that WWE is on television in South Africa seven days a week so there is a lot of coverage. He says that he was recognized everywhere. He talked about the reaction he got in his home town of Cape Town. He says that it was a feeling that he never felt before when he went up top for a 450 splash.

We see footage from last week when Daniel Bryan and Wade Barrett had a confrontation in the ring.

Wade Barrett comes out to join Booker, Cole, and Josh at the announce table. Cole suggests that the LeBell Lock be banned and Wade says that he has been having some shoulder issues since last week.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Three: Daniel Bryan versus Tyson Kidd 

They start off with a Greco Roman knuckle lock and Kidd gets the early advantage. Bryan rolls through and reverses to get the advantage. Bryan with a Northern Lights suplex while still in the knuckle lock. Kidd with a bridge but Bryan with another Northern Lights suplex and Kidd with another bridge. Kidd with a knee and an Irish whip but Bryan flips over Kidd in the corner. Bryan with a running clothesline for a near fall.

Kidd holds on to the ropes to avoid a kick. Kidd with a kick and he goes to the apron. Bryan with a drop kick that sends Kidd to the floor and Bryan with a suicide dive to Kidd on the floor. Bryan returns Kidd to the ring but Kidd kicks Bryan when he returns to the ring and Kidd with a Dragon Screw Leg Whip while in the ropes and then Bryan slams the leg into the apron. Kidd continues to work on the injured leg and then he kicks Bryan before the referee warns him.

Kidd wrings the leg into the ring post and then he applies the figure four leg lock around the ring post without being disqualified. We go to commercial.

We are back and Kidd with a drop kick to Bryan’s leg while Bryan is in the ropes in the corner. Kidd with elbow drops to the leg and then he applies an Indian Death Lock. Bryan with punches to try to get out of the hold but Kidd holds on to the hold. Bryan with forearms to the head to get out. Bryan with a snap suplex and then Bryan goes up top but he takes too long because of the damage done to his leg and Kidd crotches him. Kidd tries for a superplex but Bryan blocks it and he head butts Kidd to the mat. Bryan with a missile drop kick and Bryan holds his knee because of the impact of the move and hitting the mat.

Bryan kicks Kidd repeatedly in the chest but when he tries to kick him with the other leg, Kidd blocks it and he hits another Dragon Screw Leg Whip and he applies a single leg crab on Bryan. Bryan is able to make it to the ropes despite Kidd’s attempts to pull Bryan into the center of the ring. Kidd with a slingshot leg drop to the apron. Kidd sets for the springboard elbow drop but Bryan gets his knees up and Bryan tries for the LeBell Lock. Kidd is able to block it and we get a series of near falls from both men.

Kidd with a series of kicks but Bryan is able to trap the leg and he backs Kidd to the ropes. Bryan with a series of forearms to the head until the referee has to separate them. Kidd with a forearm to the head. Kidd misses a back heel kick and Bryan with a round house kick and he applies a Guillotine choke and Kidd has to tap out.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

Zack Ryder is walking in the back and you know it as we go to commercial.

We are back and Zack Ryder comes out to give his State of the Broski Address. Zack welcomes everyone to Zackdown. He says that the ratings went through the roof last week and it was because Triple H made him the assistant General Manager. Zack woo woo woos. He says that this is his first State of the Showski Address and he says that there are going to be a lot of changes.

Ezekiel Jackson’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring. Zeke tells Zack that he knows what he is thinking. Zack must think that Zeke is going to come out here and rip his head off like a bottle cap for putting him in a handicap match against Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase last week, but he isn’t. Zeke says that he wants to talk about why he was put in that match. Zack says that they talked about it before the match Zeke says that he was going to use his limited power to make not make it a handicap match. Zack tries to find the right words to give a proper answer while keeping his head on his shoulders, but he is unable to say anything because . . .

Cody Rhodes’ music plays and he comes out with Ted DiBiase. Cody tells Zeke that the proper term is sour grapes. He says that conduct is as unbecoming as some of the faces he is witnessing right now. He says that Zeke doesn’t really deserve to be a champion. When Ezekiel loses, the Championship loses because Zeke is making it look bad. The simplest solution is that he defeats Jackson for the title and then something happens that hasn’t happened in a long time. He resurrects the image of the title, just like he resurrected the career of his ‘friend’ Ted DiBiase.

Jackson says that he isn’t resurrecting anything. He says that Ted is being used. Jackson says that he knows what it is like to be used. He was being used by Wade Barrett to serve his massive ego in The Corre until he shoved it down Wade’s throat. Jackson says that there is nothing better than freedom.

Cody says that Ted wants to associate himself with Cody because he is associating himself with a future. It pains him how Jackson’s ignorance is turning the Intercontinental Title into a memento of mediocrity. He says that Ted has free will and Cody is suggesting that Ted go to the ring and beat Jackson. Cody tells Ted that his is up to him and the esteemed Associate General Manager.

Ryder says that is cool with him but Teddy Long comes out to make an announcement but it must not be that important because he has to do the Playa Shuffle first. Ryder joins in the dancing in the ring. Teddy tells Zack that he doesn’t care what sounds good to him. Teddy says that Ryder is not the assistant General Manager, he is Teddy’s assistant. Instead of making a match, he will be part of a match. Zack will be facing Ezekiel Jackson tonight. Teddy says that Cody and Ted are banned from ringside during the match.

Match Number Four: Ezekiel Jackson versus Zack Ryder in a Non Title Match 

Ryder with a side head lock and Jackson with a shoulder tackle followed by an Irish whip or two to work on the back. Jackson with a spinning side slam for a near fall. Jackson runs into boots in the corner and Ryder hits a boot to the head followed by a running boot to the head for a near fall. Ryder with forearms to Jackson followed by a neck breaker while Long watches from the office.

Ryder with a front face lock and Jackson powers out of the hold and follows it with two clotheslines and a running clothesline into the corner. Jackson with an Irish whip but Ryder with an elbow. Ryder comes off the turnbuckles and Jackson catches him. Jackson with three slams to Ryder to add more damage to the back. Jackson gets Ryder in the Torture Rack and Ryder taps.

Winner: Ezekiel Jackson 

Teddy Long has a smile on his face as we return to his office. There is a knock at the door and Teddy tells the person to come in and there is some saxophone music playing so it must be a woman. Teddy drops something and we see some women’s boots in the screen with Teddy’s choice of footwear for the evening. We pan up and it is Aksana and she introduces herself to Teddy. She says that it is her pleasure to meet such a powerful man. She wants to talk to him about a business proposition. Teddy says that he is busy and he gives his card to Aksana and he tells her to give him a call to set up an appointment. Aksana says that a business number is so impersonal and Teddy is confused. Aksana asks for Teddy’s personal number and he obliges. Aksana thanks Teddy and says that she looks forward to doing business with him. Aksana leaves and Teddy stares at something.

Mark Henry walks in the back as we go to commercial.

Match Number Five: Mark Henry versus Vladimir Kozlov 

Kozlov with a waist lock but Henry with an elbow followed punches that send Kozlov to the mat. Henry with an Irish whip but he misses a splash in the corner. Kozlov with knees and shoulders in the corner Kozlov runs into a boot from Henry. Kozlov with head butts to the chest but Henry with a running body block. Henry with a kick to the head and then he picks up Kozlov and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the three count.

Winner: Mark Henry 

After the match, Henry goes to the floor and he gets the steel chair that is conveniently sitting next to the comfy office chairs at ringside. Henry returns to the ring and he puts the chair around Kozlov’s ankle. Henry climbs the turnbuckles and he hits a Vader Bomb on the leg.

Sheamus makes his way to the ring with a chair, but he is too late to help Kozlov. Henry grabs the cover to the announce table and he throws it at the ring. Sheamus wants Henry to come into the ring but Henry isn’t going to challenge Sheamus when he does not have the advantage. Henry walks away while the medical staff checks on Kozlov. They bring a stretcher to the ring to take Kozlov from the ring.

John Morrison does some parkour in the back as we go to commercial.

We are back and Todd Grisham stops Sheamus who is walking in the back with his chair and he asks Sheamus for some comments about Mark Henry. Sheamus wants to know what kind of beast Henry is. He says that Henry doesn’t take pleasure in beating his opponents, he takes pleasure in ending their livelihood. He is taking away what they love and the will to compete in the WWE. He has already done it to Big Show and Kane and now he does it to Vladimir Kozlov. Sheamus says that it will not happen to him at SummerSlam. Nobody can take away his will or his passion to compete in the WWE. The biggest reason is because he is Irish. He says that he has the luck of the Irish. He says that he was born with a 24 karat horseshoe up his arse. If need be, he can whip that horseshoe out and leave lumps on his head. He will drag Mark to the beach where Henry can swim with Shamu and the rest of his friends.

Match Number Six: Michael McGillicutty, David Otunga, and JTG versus The Usos and Trent Barreta

Jey and JTG start things off and Jey with a forearm to the back and Jimmy tags in. Jey sends JTG into an uppercut from Jimmy and he gets a near fall. JTG hides behind the referee and he punches him. Michael tags in and he punches and kicks Jimmy in the corner. JTG gets a few shots in while the referee is not looking. David tags in and Michael with the running back elbow followed by a clothesline from Otunga for a near fall.

Otunga with a reverse chin lock on Jimmy but Jimmy with punches. Otunga pulls Jimmy to the mat and follows that with a short arm clothesline for a near fall. Michael tags back in and OTunga with a punch to the midsection followed by a knee lift from Micahel and he gets a near fall. Michael punches Jimmy and Otunga tags back in. They send Jimmy into the corner and they double team him until David gets a near fall.

Otunga returns to the reverse chin lock and then he sends Jey to the floor but Jimmy with a savate kick and he tags in Trent. Michael tags in as well and Trent goes after JTG on the apron and then he hits a few back elbows to Michael followed by an enzuigiri and a flying boot to the head but JTG breaks up the cover. JTG wends Jey to the floor and he pulls JTG out. Jimmy with a superkick but Otunga takes Jimmy down. Trent goes up top after a kick and he misses a moonsault. Otunga tags in and they hit the Demolition style forearm from the turnbuckles for the three count.

Winners: David Otunga, Michael McGillicutty, and JTG 

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time for the latest from Johnny Curtis. He reminds us that he won Season Four of NXT. He talks about how the time for playing is done because the writing is on the wall that Johnny debuts on Smackdown next week. We get crickets before going to the announcers and they talk about the WWE Title situation.

We go to the Raw Rebound.

Chrisitan is in the interview area with Matt Striker. Matt asks Christian about what happened last week with Triple H making the match at SummerSlam a No Holds Barred Match Christian says that he is disappointed, but not surprised because ever since Randy Orton came to Smackdown, he has had Teddy Long, the referees, and the fans . . . even the pathetic losers in the arena tonight in his back pocket. They have wanted him to be their champion. Now you can add Triple H to the list of shills. Christian asks Matt if he has any other questions . . .

But before Matt can ask another question, R Truth enters the interview area and he asks Christian if he thinks there is a conspiracy going on. Christian says that he isn’t going to come out and say it but that sounds right. Truth says that Christian sounds just like Miz did on Monday night. He tells Christian not to worry about all the Little Jimmys. Truth says that he is a good R Truth. Just like Mr. Hs hurt you last week, Truth says that he is going to put a hurting on Randy Orton for what he did last week.

Truth leaves and Christian wonders who Little Jimmy is.

Match Number Six: Randy Orton and John Morrison versus Christian and R Truth 

Truth and Orton start things off and Orton looks at Christian before getting ready to lock up. Truth with a kick and punches as he backs Orton into the corner. The referee warns Truth but Truth with a boot in the corner and the referee warns Truth again. Orton with a punch but Truth with an Irish whip and Orton bounces out of the corner and he connects with a clothesline.

Orton looks at Christian before tagging in Morrison and Truth runs to the floor and tags in Christian as he goes to the floor. Christian makes sure to avoid Orton in the corner and Morrison with a side head lock. Morrison slides through the legs and he hits a drop kick and gets a near fall.

Christian with a punch but Morrison with a kick and springboard round kick for a near fall. Christian goes to the apron and he connects with a shoulder and he sends Morrison’s neck into the rope as Christian goes to the floor. Truth tags in and he punches Morrison but Morrison with kicks and punches. Truth with knees and then he punches Morrison until the referee pulls him off Morrison. Truth tries for the suplex into a stunner but Morrison escapes and hits a leg lariat Morrison punches Truth but the referee warns Morrison. Morrison with the Shining Wizard for a near fall. Christian breaks up the cover and Orton chases Christian around ringside and Christian retreats into the crowd to avoid Orton.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Morrison with punches but Truth with a kick. Morrison with a kick and then he hits an enzuigiri to Christian on the apron. Morrison tries for another springboard round kick but Truth is able to push Morrison to the floor. Christian wanted to do something to Morrison but the referee turned to Christian and he stopped what he was going to do. Truth sends Morrison back into the ring and then he kicks Morrison in the back followed by an elbow drop. Truth with punches followed by a kick and another punch. Truth gets a near fall and then he applies a reverse chin lock on Morrison.

Morrison with an arm drag but Truth with a clothesline that flips Morrison. Christian tags back in and he kicks Morrison in the head. Christian sends Morrison’s head into the mat as he continues to work on Morrison’s surgically repaired neck. Christian puts Morrison in the ropes and he stands on Morrison’s back. Christian with a neck breaker for a near fall. Christian goes to the turnbuckles but he misses a diving head butt when Morrison rolls out of the way.

Both men are down and the referee starts his count. Christian gets up first and he knocks Orton off the apron so he cannot make the tag. Christian brings Morrison into his corner and he tags Truth in and Truth kicks Morrison. Truth with a punch to the head. Truth dances a little too much and Morrison is able to hit the standing C4 and both men are down.

Orton and Christian tag in and Orton with a punch and clothesline followed by a power slam. Orton runs into boots from Christian. Christian goes to the turnbuckles but Orton sees it coming so he avoids the drop kick and Orton with a jackknife cover for a near fall. Christian with a rake of the eyes but Orton with a Thesz Press and he punches Christian in the head.

Christian tries for the Killswitch but Orton counters and hits a back breaker for a near fall. Christian with an Irish whip but Orton floats over and gets a near fall with a rollup. Christian with a spinebuster and then he waits for Orton to get back to his feet for the spear. Orton with a leap frog over the spear. Orton tries for the RKO but Christian avoids it. Orton pulls Christian off the turnbuckles and then he sets for the kick to the head but Truth gets in the way. Orton avoids Truth and then Orton and Morrison work over Truth with punches. Orton and Morrison send Truth over the top rope to the floor and Morrison with a plancha onto Truth.

Christian with a punch to Orton and then he hits a baseball slide on Morrison. Orton with a kick to Christian on the apron followed by the IEDDT and then Orton looks to the rafters and then he sets for the RKO on Christian but his viper senses detect R Truth behind him and he hits the RKO on Truth. That allows Christian to hit the Killswitch for the three count.

Winners: Christian and R Truth 

We go to credits.

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