Saturday, August 14, 2010

SMACKDOWN REPORT 8/13

We are live on tape from San Jose, California and your announcers are Matt Striker and Todd Grisham.
Vickie Guerrero is in the ring and she is dressed like she is getting ready to go on vacation. She gives us a few ‘Excuse Mes’ and then brings out the new Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler is also dressed for a day at the beach. We see highlights from last week’s victory by Dolph Ziggler over Kofi Kingston. Vickie says that Dolph is more electrifying that the Rock, has more heart than Bret, and is sexier than Shawn Michaels. Vickie says that he is all hers. He is her boyfriend.


Dolph takes the mic and he says that there is one very special person that he has to thank because without this person he would not be the Universe’s Intercontinental Champion. Without this person’s support, advice, and back rubs; he would not be the total package that everyone sees before them tonight. Dolph says this person is the official consultant to Smackdown . . . Vickie Guerrero.


Vickie tells Dolph that she deserves it. She tells Dolph that she can’t wait to get out of this disgusting city and board their private plane and celebrate in Tahiti. The fans do not appreciate Vickie and Dolph’s travel plans so she gives us another ‘excuse me’. Vickie says that she will make this so romantic that Dolph won’t have to lift a finger.


The good times are interrupted by the former Intercontinental Champion, Kofi Kingston, who takes Ziggler down and punches him. Vickie leaves the ring and Kofi with a forearm to Ziggler and Dolph goes to the floor. Kofi with a suicide dive onto Dolph while Vickie calls for referees to come down to separate the two men.


Teddy Long comes out and says that is enough. Teddy tells Vickie and Dolph that he is not going to let things go down like this. He tells Vickie and Dolph that they will have to cancel their vacation plans because Dolph will have to defend his title against Kofi Kingston. He also tells Dolph that he will face Rey Mysterio tonight.


Vickie calls Teddy’s match and raises it by saying that Kofi will also be in action and Kofi will have to face Kane.


Teddy says that Vickie is just a consultant so he is the man with the power. He tells Kofi that he doesn’t have to wrestle Kane. Kofi says that he isn’t a coward and he will face Kane. Kofi tells Teddy that he wants this match to be next.


We go to a video package of Kane winning at Money in the Bank and then cashing in the briefcase that night against Rey Mysterio to become the World Champion. We hear Kane’s motivation for winning the title and how he did it for the Undertaker. Then we see the accusations between Kane and Rey Mysterio over who injured the Undertaker.


Kane is walking in the back as we go to commercial.


Match Number One: Kane versus Kofi Kingston in a Non Title Match


Kofi with kicks to Kane but Kane with an uppercut to stop Kofi. Kane with a punch to Kofi but Kofi with a drop kick and then he runs Kane into the turnbuckles. Kofi with shoulders until Kane pushes him away. Kofi leaps to the turnbuckles for his punches but Kane with a knee when Kofi returns to the mat. Kane with an Irish whip and side slam for a near fall. Kane goes up top but Kofi with a drop kick that sends Kane to the floor. Kofi goes to the floor with a suicide dive and then he punches Kane while the referee starts his count. Kofi tries for Trouble in Paradise but Kane moves out of the way and Kofi kicks the ring post.


Kane with a clothesline to the injured ankle and then he returns Kofi to the ring. Kane uses the ring skirt to immobilize Kofi’s foot while he punches Kofi. Kane stomps on the ankle before returning to the ring. Kane stands on the ankle as he methodically works on the foot. Kane with a slam that bounces Kofi’s ankle off the ropes. Kofi struggles to get Kane away from him. Kane with an Irish whip but Kofi falls out of the corner whenKane charges. Kofi with punches but they don’t have the same impact. Kane sends Kofi into the turnbuckles and Kofi with the pendulum kick. Kofi tries to climb the turnbuckles but Kane is able to recover and he choke slams Kofi off the ropes and then hits the tombstone piledriver for the three count.


Winner: Kane


After the match, Kane gets on the mic and he says that Rey Mysterio attacked and incapacitated his brother. He says that the guilt is flowing through his veins like a disease. Desperation becomes the only recourse and it is obvious that desperation was the motivation behind his actions. On Sunday, Rey will pay for those actions. His lies will be no match for the hellfire of the dark side. His lies will not protect him from his fate. His lies will not shield him from the eternal darkness that awaits him in the casket. Kane says that his brother found it within himself to reach out from the darkness so he could speak the two words ‘Rey Mysterio’. Even in his blackest of moments, Kane says that he cannot understand the pain that his brother is enduring or the pain of knowing that he will never be the phenom that he once was. If Undertaker was here, he would punish the guilty his way. Kane tells Rey that on Sunday, vengeance will be delivered by the devil’s favorite demon.


Rey Mysterio comes out to interrupt Kane’s pyro. He says that Kane comes out speaking about evil and lies claiming to be the devil’s favorite demon. He tells Kane that he is looking at one of God’s humble servants. If there is one person who had a motive to take out the Undertaker, it wasn’t him, it was Kane. Who found the Undertaker? Who wrongfully accused everyone of doing it? Who has been living in the shadow of their brother since he was born? Who had the most to gain? Rey says that it was Kane. He says that the title that Kane is holding, if Undertaker was here right now, it would be in his hands. Rey says that on Sunday that title belt will be in his hands because Kane will be one move away from the 6-1-9.


We go to commercial.


We are back and Did You Know about John Cena’s coffee cup at 7-Eleven?


Christian comes to the ring and we see what happened to him two weeks ago when he faced Drew McIntyre and suffered an apparent shoulder injury during the match.


We see Drew in the back with Cody Rhodes. Drew tells Cody that he says that they are both superstars on a rocket ship to the top. He says that he has already softened up Christian, but Cody interrupts Drew. Cody says that he knows what Drew is doing. He says that it is not going to be a problem because he is ‘Dashing’ Cody Rhodes. Drew says that if Cody doesn’t win, he won’t be ‘dashing’, he will be ‘disappointing’.


Match Number Two: Christian versus ‘Dashing’ Cody Rhodes


Cody with a knee and forearm as he backs Christian into the turnbuckles and he puts Christian’s arm in the ropes. Christian fights him off and pushes Cody away. Christian tries for a boot in the corner but Christian stops short. Cody with a single leg take down but Christian with a back body drop that send Cody to the floor. Christian with a pescado onto Cody as we go to commercial.


We are back and Cody has gained the advantage and he puts Christian in an arm bar. We see footage from the commercial break when Cody pulled Christian off the turnbuckles and Christian landed on his injured arm. Cody with knees to the arm before he returns to the arm bar and Cody steps over to add more pressure to the arm. Christian gets to his feet but Cody with a knee and a hammer lock slam. Cody with forearms while Christian is in the ropes. We see Drew watching from the back. Cody with a hammer lock but Christian returns to the ropes. Cody holds Christian and kicks him ‘down low’. Cody with a punch and clothesline to the back of the head and Christian hits the rope with his injured arm on the way to the mat and gets a near fall. Cody with a Ric Flair rolling knee drop to the arm and he gets a near fall. Cody with a wrist lock and he uses the ropes again. Christian tries to kick Cody but Cody blocks it and connects with forearms. Cody puts Christian on top and they fight on the turnbuckles. Christian kicks Cody off and hits a cross body for a near fall.


Christian with a clothesline and knee to Rhodes as he goes to the turnbuckles again. Christian hits the corkscrew back elbow and then he stands on Cody’s back while Cody is in the ropes. Christian goes for the slingshot punch but Cody gets away before Christian can connect with the punch. Christian with a shoulder from the apron followed by a sunset flip for a near fall. Cody hits the Alabama Slam but he can only get a two count. Christian tries for the Killswitch but he cannot turn Cody over because of his arm. Cody misses a springboard round kick when Christian ducks. Christian connects with a punch to the face and then Christian hits the inverted DDT and gets a near fall. Cody goes to the ropes and then he pokes Christian in the eyes and sends Christian into the ring post and then hits Cross Rhodes for the three count.


Winner: Cody Rhodes


We go to commercial.


We are back with the Smack of the Night: Big Show being attacked and injured by the Straight Edge Society two weeks ago.


Match Number Three: Big Show versus Derek Werley, Jody Reese, and Fernando Vega


All three men are in the ring for the start of the match while Big Show has his right hand taped. As the bell rings, the Straight Edge Society shows up on the stage.


Show tosses all three men around the ring. Show with a shoulder tackle followed by choke slams to two of his opponents and then he shows that he can still knock someone out on the third man and Show gets the three count.


Winner: Big Show


After the match, Luke Gallows gets on the mic and he tells Show to pay attention. He rhetorically asks Show if he thought that was impressive.


CM Punk stops everything and then asks Luke how he got a mic because he does not speak until Punk tells him he can. Punk says hello to Show and he says that he knows that Show’s hand hurts. He knows that there is a tiny pea brain rattling around in his head so he cannot differentiate between the three ham and eggers who were in the ring and his sin free machine of self discipline that is going to crush him. Punk wants Show to picture what is going to happen at SummerSlam. Show is going to be in the pit, surrounded by an orchestra of virtue. His conductor for the evening will be himself. He tells Show that they will play his own personal opus. It will be a symphony that will sound a lot like Show’s bones being broken under the boot of the Straight Edge Society. It is a symphony that he has written just for Show and it is called ‘The Destruction of the Big Show’.


Matt Hardy is walking in the back for his match and he walks past Kelly Kelly who wishes him luck in his match.


We go to commercial.


Match Number Four: Matt Hardy versus Drew McIntyre


Drew tries for a boot to the head but Hardy moves. Matt with a few punches before Drew kicks Matt and sends him to the mat as he works on the head. Drew with a forearm to the head followed by kicks in the corner. Drew with a forearm to the back of the head and he tries for a slam. Hardy with a clothesline that sends Drew over the top rope to the floor. Matt goes to the floor and Drew kicks Matt and then sends Matt into the ringside barrier. Drew charges at Matt but Matt with a back body drop that sends Drew into the ring announcer/bell ringer cubicle at ringside. Matt avoids a punch from Drew and hits a Side Effect on the floor. Matt rolls Drew back into the ring and gets a near fall. Matt with a front face lock and Drew gets to the ropes. Matt takes advantage of the five count and then he connects with an elbow to the head and hits a neck breaker for a near fall. Matt goes to the turnbuckles and Drew tries to pull Matt off the turnbuckles, but Matt holds on. Drew hits a sit out power bomb from the corner after a kick to the back but Drew can only get a near fall.


Drew with a kick to the head and he gets a near fall. Drew with punches to the head and he puts Matt in an arm bar with chin lock. Matt with punches but Drew pulls Matt to the mat again. Drew stands over Matt and returns to the arm bar. Matt returns to his feet and he gets out of the hold with an arm drag. Matt with a spear and both men go through the ropes and to the floor. Matt with knees to the head but Drew sends Matt’s back into the ring steps. Drew with punches to Matt and then he puts Matt’s foot in the ring steps and he stomps on the steps. Drew wants the referee to make the count and Drew goes to the apron at nine to stop the count. Matt removes his boot and rolls back into the ring. Drew waits to pounce and he could barely get on his feet and Drew hits the Future Shock DDT for the three count.


Winner: Drew McIntyre


It is time for the Nexus/John Cena/Team WWE video package to set up the match on Sunday at SummerSlam.


We go to commercial.


We are back with the WWE Rewind: Highlights from the Rey Mysterio/Jack Swagger Falls Count Anywhere Match from two weeks ago when they battled into the Gulf of Mexico.


Jack Swagger comes to the ring and he says that when he looks at everyone in the crowd he sees person after person looking for an excuse to feel sorry for themselves or for someone else to feel sorry for them because their lives are not spectacular. Jack says that he has a legitimate excuse for looking the way he does. Jack says that nobody knows what he has been going through for the last two weeks and the last two months. He has been cheated out of his title. He has been thrown into the Gulf of Mexico and deal with all of the diseases in the Gulf. Then he had to deal with severe family trauma. He had to stand by while his father was brutally attacked by that out of control, insane freak Kane. He says that he was up until 4:00 am last night dealing with chronic diarrhea. He let’s everyone know that it was not him, but his father who had the issue. Jack wants to know when the people will see that he is the former World Champion and he is not even in the title match at SummerSlam. Swagger says that it is official that SummerSlam has lost its Swagger. Jack says that you might as well bring Ari Gold back . . .


Montel Vontavious Porter interrupts Swagger and says that Jack is full of excuses. Porter says that he kind of understands. He understands that nobody cares about his problems. The WWE Universe doesn’t care about his problems, nobody in the arena cares about his problems, and Porter says that he doesn’t care about Swagger’s problems.


Swagger says that everyone should care. Swagger wants to know what Porter is doing out here because they had this discussion last year. Porter says that they had this discussion in this same arena. Porter reminds Swagger that after their conversation, he beat Swagger at SummerSlam.


Swagger hits Porter with the mic and then throws him to the floor. Swagger goes after Porter and sends Porter into the ringside barrier. We go to commercial.


We are back and it looks like there is going to be a match between Porter and Swagger.


Match Number Five: Jack Swagger versus Montel Vontavious Porter


Swagger with a running clothesline into the corner and he gets a near fall on the still injured Porter. Swagger runs Porter into the turnbuckles and he punches Porter until the referee pulls him out of the corner and warns him. Swagger chokes Porter with his knee. Porter kicks Swagger away but Swagger gets back up and hits a clothesline for a near fall. Swagger with a key lock and then he takes Porter to the mat. Porter tries for a float over on an Irish whip but Swagger holds on to Porter’s feet and then he drives Porter face first into the mat. Swagger applies the ankle lock but he is too close to the ropes and Porter is able to grab the ropes and Swagger must release the hold.


Swagger kicks Porter and then he is admonished by the referee. Swagger with a standing power slam and then he sets for the double jump Vader Bomb but Porter gets his knees up. Porter avoids a charge into the corner and Porter with an exploder suplex and both men are down. Porter with punches to Swagger followed by a clothesline or two. Porter with a double thrust followed by a face buster and it is time to go for the Ballin’ Elbow but Swagger is able to get up and hits a big boot to the face. Swagger stands over Porter and he tries to send Porter’s knee into the mat but Porter with a rollup for the three count.


Winner: Montel Vontavious Porter


It is time for the latest edition of ‘Dashing Cody Rhodes’ Grooming Tips’. This week Cody talks about stinky, yellow, nasty ear wax. Cody says that he is here to show us how to be dashing. In order to remove such an unsightly substance, use a cotton swab. Place it gently in your ear and move it around in a nice circular motion. He tells everyone not to push it in too far because you don’t want to hurt yourself. Cody says that will remove the nasty, mustardy, cheddar cheese, awful substance from your ear. Cody tells us that we are now one step closer to being dashing.


We go to commercial.


We are back with a new Alberto Del Rio video package which is a summary of the other video packages and it mentions the attributes that he has talked about in previous weeks. We then see Alberto talking about everyone has been unable to achieve their goals for some reason. Then we see Alberto talking about how great he is.


We are told by Matt Striker that Alberto Del Rio will debut next week on Smackdown.


It is time to run through the card for SummerSlam.


We see Rey’s comments from earlier in the show when he explained to Kane why Kane is the one who attacked Undertaker.


We go to commercial.


We are back and Did You Know that WWE Mobile content is available in 52 countries and over one billion subscribers have access.


Match Number Six: Rey Mysterio versus Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero in a Non Title Match


They lock up and Ziggler with a side head lock take down. Rey with a hip lock take down. Ziggler with a hard Irish whip followed by a kick to the chest for a near fall. Dolph kicks Rey in the corner and the referee warns him. Dolph punches Rey and kicks him in the ribs before choking him in the corner. Ziggler with another Irish whip but Rey with a rollup after sidestepping Rey. Rey with a tilt-a-whirl head scissors followed by a drop kick for a near fall. Dolph sends Rey into the turnbuckles and then he stands on Rey’s throat. Dolph with a neck breaker to Rey and he gets another near fall. Dolph with a knee to the chest for a near fall. Dolph with a forearm to the back of the neck and then he puts Rey in a reverse chin lock.


Rey with an elbow and forearm but Dolph with a kick. Rey escapes a slam attempt and he hits a drop kick to the knee and Dolph falls into the ropes. Rey signals for the 619 but as Rey goes off the ropes, Kane’s pyro goes off and he comes to the ring with a casket.


We go to commercial.


We are back and Dolph with a reverse chin lock while Kane watches with his casket from ringside. We see footage from the commercial break when Rey missed a senton from the apron and Ziggler followed that with a clothesline on the floor. Rey with a kick to Dolph but Ziggler with a hot shot to Rey. Ziggler puts Rey over the apron and drops Rey’s throat across the apron and gets a near fall. Ziggler with a kick followed by rapid fire elbow drops before hitting the leaping elbow drop and he gets a near fall on Rey.


Ziggler returns to the reverse chin lock and Rey is looking right at Kane and the casket. Ziggler does a headstand into a bridge to add extra pressure. Rey gets back to his feet and he hits Dolph in the back of the knee and hamstring and adds kicks. Rey with a waist lock but Ziggler with a standing switch. Rey with an elbow and standing switch. Rey sends Ziggler shoulder first into the ring post as Rey rolls to the apron and hits the springboard seated senton followed by a springboard cross body press for a near fall. Ziggler with a kick and sunset flip but this is Rey so he rolls through and kicks Ziggler and hits a seated senton for a near fall. Rey with a kick and he tries for a springboard move but Ziggler blocks it and hits an electric chair drop with a bridge and gets a near fall. Ziggler waits for Rey to get to his feet for the sleeper and he tries to lock it in. Ziggler with a forearm to the back. Rey with a kick and he tries for an Asai Moonsault but Ziggler catches him. Rey is able to get free and he puts Ziggler in the sleeper. Dolph quickly backs Rey into the turnbuckles to escape the hold. Rey puts the sleeper back on and he returns to the turnbuckles. Dolph with a snap mare to Rey and Ziggler waits for Rey to get back to his feet. Ziggler applies the sleeper but Rey gets out of the hold sending Ziggler into the ropes. Ziggler tries to get up and Rey tries for the 619 but Ziggler is able to get out of the ropes and he tries for a power bomb but Rey counters with a rollup for the three count.


Winner: Rey Mysterio


After the match, Kane gets onteh apron but Rey with a baseball slide that knocks Kane off the apron. Rey with a kick to Kane followed by a 619 to the back. Kane tries for a choke slam for the apron but Rey escapes the hold. Rey with a springboard drop kick that knocks Kane into the casket. Kane gets out of the casket and heads up the ramp as we go to credits.

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